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Wed, Jan 22, 2014 at 1:45 AM

not sure if we're fighting

So basically this week Caleb and I just haven't been getting along, its like he's tryna pick a fight with everything I say or do. Since our big fight a few weeks ago and the news that he may have to leave soon (the latest blow to our situationship), things just aren't the same. I dunno first I was mad as hell at him, lasted a while, but then I figured I only have so much time left with him, so I decided not to fight about petty lil things with him and just to enjoy these last few days. But apparently he doesn't have the same thinking. Right now he's mad at me for not chatting to him or whatever, thing is after 2years he should know how I am, I don't sit constantly on my phone, well if I am on my phone its usually 'cause I'm browsing twitter, but then again I should know that he doesn't take note of anything. I just think I'm starting to loose interest in what we have, I'm seriously bored right now (I should clear up the particulars, he has a gf and a son, him and I have had an on and off thing for about 2years now, it started before he and his gf got back together. I've tried to keep it strictly unattached for as long as I can, but feelings got involved and the rest is history. We had a major fight recently and it snapped me back into reality that I'm the chick on the side and his priorities lies with his gf, I think I forgot this because never in this 2years has he ever treated me like the side chick, and I think it made me forget about what our situation is. The way I felt when realizing, again, where I stand in this situation made me realize that I really don't want this. I'm tired of having to be the chick on the side. I think this is why I'm losing interest in our thing). So back to now, I'll probably see him only on saturday, but in the meanwhile we're both being stubborn no one wants to text the other first, instead we're putting up bbm statuses or changing our display pictures instead, almost as if we're teens again. He called me a couple of times in this week asking me what's wrong, but I don't really wanna tell him I'm getting bored of this until I'm actually sure I'm bored or if my feelings are just sub siding because of the fact that he might be leaving soon, and this is just my way of coping. I dunno, he's last message was him accusing me of acting like he's dead to me, and I left it at that... I'll just have to see if we'll actually speak to each other today, or if we're just gonna ignore each other and argue it out on saturday...

Peace and love barbz
Xxo*

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