Tue, Dec 14, 2010 at 3:53 PM
Save Me ( Speakn my life ]
& sometimes i feel like qivinq up , sometimes i feel like im only livinq to be hurt . I strive for a better tomorrow , but when tomorrow comes , im just striving for a better day . I feel like im done with the world , done with the tears and done with the pain. But then i come back to realization that i cant be done if i haven't started . Sometimes ppl think im being a rebel but i know me , i know whats going on in my life. I feel so alone and it hurts , the one person i had in my life , left me. She came in my life with a goodbye , cause when she was saying hello she was already planning leaving , see when i thought she was loving me , she was loving THEE , and i wasn't paying attention to THEE , cause i was to busy fucking ME . if you confused then i suggest you open up chapter one and go back to where it all started , see when i met her i was just screwing around didn't care bout love , wasn't even taking her serious , but she was actually caring ( at least it seem like she did ] ; i didn't know i was digging myself into a dark lonely hole . The Girl i loved was having another love life , and i swear i didn't see the siqns . I cried days upon days , thinking that would take the pain away , but see while i was crying she was laughing , while i was crying , they was laughing , while they was laughing , i was destroying ... Destroying my life , my heart , and the most of all destroying everything ive worked so hard for . See ive waited for someone like her all my life , i thought i was done with the pain , done with the lies , & i thought GOD gave me my match , i thought God gave me her love to nurture me , see she was the key to everything that was locked in my life . I tried fighting hard for her love , but i always lost the round . I never wanted someone's love as much as i wanted hers , she gave me that kind of love that you wouldn't want to live without , see if you didnt have it you would slowly begin to fade , it begins to creep up on you like a black darkness coming to take an angel away . I remember literally falling in the shower because i thought about her loving someone else , and i cried so hard that my Tears peirced through the wetness of the water on my face . I remember wanting to kill myself because the pain was to bare , i remember plotting on how i could do it and all i thought about was her giving up on me . See when someone you gave all your love to and told all your deepest secrets abandons you , you feel like your empty , and if your empty why be living ? But im learning to get over her , im learning to just FORGET & LIVE , see that girl had me wrapped around her fingers , i swear no matter how bad she hurt me , i would always take her back , well see i cant say take her back cause i wasnt the one letting go ... [ Thinks * ] but im the one who setting myself free , i will let her love as many girls she need to love til she realizes who love was the strongest , but you know what even if she was to realizes that i was the one for her , it will be too late , and i might be wrong , i might continue to love her as if nothing happened , but i know my heart will forever play it to me . My heart forgives people faster than i do , i remember people hurting me sooo bad , but i always wanted to be loved , so i just let them walk over me . There was this boy who made me feel like i wasnt nothing , he would cheat on me , say the most horrible things you shouldnt say to a lil girl , but i just kept loving him , well i thought i did . I never really loved any guy i was with , i was just a young girl who needed some affection cause she never had any from her mother or father . I never had the childhood that most girls did , i was ugly , and very timid. None of the girls would want to play with me , none of the boys dated me , i was just that girl who everyone made fun of . I never will believe im beautiful , and no matter how many people tell me i will only listen to one , and thats myself . I hate looking in the mirror , the mirror is not my best friend, but yet i stare in it so long , just staring asking myself why did you let yourself get like this ? I hate my body , i hate my face , im not the type of girl you would just go WOW she is just beautiful , im someone daughter , someone sister , someone neice , someone friend , but im never someone's EVERYTHING .
I dont know how this is suppose to go , so if you feel i got off track , its because i never was on the right track . The title is called SAVE ME , and i guess im just letting you know my life , cause im hoping someone reads this and feel my pain and just hold me in their arms and tell me its going to be alright , im here and i promise to never leave , i will forever be your protector , i will never let you hurt anymore , i will ..... Save you .