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Sun, Jun 9, 2013 at 2:57 AM

FO REAL ?

Good morning to who ever may be reading this... If you've read my blogs before you'll know that spiders are out to get me..Its really becoming ridiculous, last night i was closing the blind whilst brushing my teeth with my electric toothbrush which is a waste of £10 if ya ask me it dnt even vibrate hard enough, i want my money back. Anyway i spotted this black thing quickly run up on the blind. I've got those blind that you twist that pole and it changes the panels, yh so i was like cool its the baby spider from the other day who's life i spared !!!! Take note i did not drown it or church stomp its ass i let it live. Continued to brush my teeth n check myself out in the mirror as you do, time to spit in the sink all of a sudden this mutant black and orange came running side ways on the blinds HELL NO !!!!!!!!!! I wasn't even close to finishing brushing my teeth n it wants to fuck with me nahh son. SPRINTED into the passage, continuing to brush, bathroom door wide open, me ferociously starring at the blinds tryna spot where it went, WHY OF ALL TIMES does it come out when im in the room, it must have known not to be in the bath coz it would of had a nice hot rinse!!! eurgh....Time to spit again approaching the sink with caution ok im lying i didnt even get too close to the sink cz i didnt want it hopping on my head scarf :( but yh spat the water out quick rinse took my tooth brush, shut the door & ran to my room. I spent the whole night tossing n turning breaking out in hives worrying that it'll get out. How da fuck am i supposed to sleep comfy knowing that if it wanted to it could just squeeze under the crack off the door and strut itself into my room.

My mum keeps saying dnt kill spiders there your good luck charm. I think she thinks my bro has been reincarnated into a spider to continue pranking me for many years to come which would make sense in a way i suppose.Spiders seem to be drawn to me from a early age n i really wanna know why..Imma google what it means....Here's just some of the famous pranks he's done to me; my bro had just came bk from a funfair the previous day and he asked if i wanted some candy floss of course i want some, he broke me off a piece, put it in my mouth n began to chew, no flavour whats so ever? huh.. what is this? I told him it don't taste right, he laughed n said its cotton wool.good thing i didn't swallow it. Another one is he had a glass of milk now i had been asking him for ages for some milk to have with double chocolate chip Maryland cookies, so finally he asked do i want some Michelle ?, yh sure :) started to drink i was like this don't taste right he let out the biggest laugh ever then told me it was corn flour. Nasty af !!!!!! Another reason why my mum dnt want me to kill spiders was at his funeral when the ceremony was happening a spider crawled down from the ceiling & u know how high church ceilings are, it crawled all the way to dangle right over my head i nudged my aunty alerting her, she just smirked, i had to sit there pretending i wasn't shook..When it did make its way to the ground it stayed beside me through the whole service until it was time to go to the cemetery for the burial then it disappeared. Was that my brother right beside? ....

That day was so weird for me at the age of 11 i dnt think i truly understood what was going on, i mean when i was in the hospital and he was in ICU on life support i thought once i touched his hand and spoke to him he'd recognise my voice & wake up, just like how it is on tv i wanted him to wake up. Why isn't he waking up? We got some hope he started breathing on his own, but he was unresponsive to a test they put ice cold water i think it was on the ears to see if the person is responsive but not a flinch at all.2 weeks of uncertainty n hope crushed in one sentence "he's brain dead".I had to say goodbye to him before they started to switch off the machines.. Worst day of my life... I think that's why i hate summer so much & dnt ever celebrate my birthday. I don't feel right celebrating without him here, I almost feel guilty and the fact that im turning 20 this year scares me. We were Born in the same month..Funny thing the day he was supposed to be due is my birthday (27th August) and the day i was supposed 2 b due was his birthday(16th August).. He died weeks before his 21st bday & my 12th...

With all that being said i'm going to try my best n conquer this fear of spiders.. Oh yeah forgot to say i woke up with a notification saying Nicki liked my iphone case AYYYEEEEE 4 likes from the QUEEN in one week. So happy, anyway time to get out of bed its 10:57am in sunny London and i never stay in bed this long, im hungry and the smell from my breath is bothering me lol .

Have a great day everyone !!
xoxo

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